Mom’s Soap Box

With graduation two weeks away I find myself confronted with decisons I am having a hard time making. I realize my son needs a car for college in the fall, but I don’t want to make the decison in letting him take out a loan which if he is not careful could ruin his financial future.

It would be so much easier if he was dorming but that will never happen.. It’s just too expensive..

I don’t want to say, “sure get a car ” and then he wraps himself around a telephone pole and I am guilt ridden the rest of my life!

It so easy to make one stupid mistake that will make life a nightmare. My son is so excited about having his own car and I’m not that old that I forget my first car. It was a 79 yellow camaro.

It was my sunshine on a rainy day.. I drove my dad crazy begging him to let me get it. I was 19 years old and had no idea how to maintain a car… No one told me I had to change the oil every 1200 miles… until I destroyed the engine..

I know sooner or later I’m going to have to break the ties I have for him.. It just hurts so much letting go.

Yesterday the new freshman class of 2013 was upon Seton Hill University. It was a day of excitement and new adventure for my son. There will be highs and lows the next four years and it will make or break some of the new freshman class..

I found myself walking the halls of this 1837 institution with my son and the man who help bring him into the world eighteen years ago.

Moments it was sureal and haunting being with him other times we laughed and cried while our son registered for classes, spoke with professors and other freshmans.

After lunch me and my son’s father spent some time in the chapel. We prayed and discussed our mistakes and failings in life, but after the tears we knew in our hearts our son has thrived in spite of our divorce and he has grown into a wonderful young man who has the world at his feet.

Before we knew it, we were late for a final meeting with our son’s major advisor. When we finally found where we were supposed to be it was in a class room full of other parents and students ; we looked like two tardy students walking into class late.

Everyone looked at me and my ex including my son.

Opps we were caught misbehaving!

Our day ended with pizza and some laughs!

The publishing company that owns the children story “Curious George” is thinking about suing Marietta bar owner Mike Norman for selling t-shirts showing a picture of the lovable monkey “Curious George” peeling a banana with the words Obama “08″ underneath.

Some are protesting the t-shirt saying it is racist, that it’s depicting a prominent African-American as being a monkey.. I always thought that George Bush resembled a chimp…

Last night I picked up a “Curious George” dvd my nephew always watches and Obama does looks a lot like Curious George.

I don’t think it’s racist at all.
I just think it’s a great marketing tool!

I Hope
I hope your dreams take you to the corners of your smiles,

to the highest of your hopes,

to the windows of your opportunities,

and to the most special places your heart has ever known.—Author Unknown

It was a sureal, sobering, day of celebrations for the graduates of St. Vincent College in Latrobe, PA.
My Godson took his place with the 2008 graduates this past Saturday. It reminded me of the day in May four years ago when he stood on the Penn Trafford football field and received his high school diploma. I can’t believe how the time has flown by.

I was glad I went to commencements because the speaker was Mike Tomlin coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers. I was not a fan of him prior to his speech, but since then I am.

He spoke from his heart. Everyone there young and old could take something from his speech when they left. I felt he was speaking directly to me and his words had meaning. He used his experence with his players and spoke to the class of 2008 in the same way, except they are going to play the game of life..

He said you have to play the game and no matter what the first few plays (years) after you graduate may be. Some may fall and stumble, a few times, but you have to get back up and finish the game. Some may succeed, but that does not mean you won the game. It’s the whole game, the game of life and how you live that life that matters.

It was a wonderful speech. I will think of Tomlin diffently now. I admire him!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there.I had a wonderful day with my family. My son Mark gave me a beautiful card, and chocolate covered raisons that ended up all over the sofa. I ate them anyways!

Jon and Mark gave me a dozens of red roses which smelled heavenly.

Now- I hope I make it through to the end of May. I’m already crying about graduation. Last Friday I stopped and got the mail before I picked the boys up at school. I pulled up like I always do, turned off the car and opened a letter that said, “For the parents of Mark Nicassio.” It was the agenda for the month of May for seniors.

I must of really looked pathetic sitting in my car crying..

It spelled out each week up until graduation. It hit me like a ton of bricks. The day has finally come that my little boy was going to graduate. 18 years of preparing for this day has finally come. I remember the first day of kindergarten, and how I broke down at the bus stop after he boarded the bus. He looked back at me with terror in his eyes.

First grade was the worst, I cried the entire day up until 3:45 in the afternoon. That day started my chocolate chip cookie first day of school ritual… Every first day of school I always had warm cookies waiting for him and his brother when they got home from school.

So when I say it’s going to be a hard day for me on May 29 I mean it. I can’t believe my little boy is a man. Wow, I remember when he used to love to smell my hair and suck on his binky!

I hope he realizes how much I love him and how he and his brother have been my life for so long that it’s hard to let go, but that does not mean I have to all at once.

After all the rushing around , lost tie and broken bootenair Mark and Samantha looked great! They were very glamorous. It was my first grand march and it was worth the long line in traffic. I loved looking at all the great dressed couples. Both had a wonderful time and they even had sore muscles from all the dancing. PT prom organizers did a wonderful job pulling this years prom together and they picked the right spot. The food was worth the high price ticket. I was glad to hear everyone made it home safe.

Prom Day

“I hope it does not turn out like this”

It’s that big day that all you seniors were waiting for ..It’s that last hoorah before commencements. I know I’m excited can’t wait to see all you dressed up.

Just remember to have fun, but take it slow on the road and be responsible!

A reminder- if you don’t want anyone to find out; don’t do it!! If you don’t want anyone to see it- don’t take it! And five minutes of fun can turn into a lifetime of regrets!

Next Week
I have an interview on Monday; I hope it goes well and it pays well. Since I consider myself an advocate I applied for a consumer advocate position. I think we may be a good match. And best of all it’s Monday thru Friday no nights or weekends!!

It’s a professional job and I bet there is no screaming and yelling like my last one! I was so uptight that my hair was falling out!

I think it will give me more time for my writing and hopefully get something published. I won’t have to worry about my oldest finding a way to school he can drop me off on the way and have the car to go to work at night.

Maybe I can get a shiny new car in the fall!

Have a great Prom and good weekend!

Sweaty Palms and a nervous twitch is how you may have reacted standing in front of your class mates.
Your note cards in hand for your big senior presentation. This is just the beginning of those freshman presentations you will be doing next fall.

That is a part of college life. So get over the jitters and embrace your new crusade from high school student to college freshmen. Twelve years of back packs and peer pressure are almost to a close.

Pat yourself on your back because you did well all dressed up in your slacks and tie.

Now for tomorrows big day.

and it was about time. That’s how I feel when it comes to arguing with my boys . They wanted to skip school and go to Game Stop to get the newest Grand Theft Auto. I guess I’m a terrible mother because they have it, but there was a catch to their foolishness. They would have to go to the doctors and get a shot, seriously my oldest had to get another chicken pox vaccine because the first one he had when he was two may not protect him from the chicken pox. Boy- there is something wrong when a shot in the arm is not a distraction from skipping school.

Game Stop was our first stop before the doctors yesterday. “but mom the graphics are amazing.” That’s not what I see. I see hookers getting beat up and random killings. But all they see is a good game. So good that they predicting the release to beat this weeks newest movie release at the box office.

I love technology! Just a reminder my son’s are 18 and 16-this is not a game for little kids! Absolutely no one under 16 should play this game.

In hot water. Miley Cyrus is added to Disney’s list of the not so favorable. Cyrus spat out that she is embarrassed by the her naughty snap shots on the internet and her back baring photo’s in Vanity Fair. Just another teen wanting to grow up too soon.

Cyrus was not on my favorite list of tween idols either. In fact, just the site of her “Hannah Montana” character makes my stomach queasy. I wonder why the parents of young girls want their daughters to emulate this type of character. There are so many other more admirable characters they could aspire to look up to.

What ever happened to “Nancy Drew”, which was on of my favorite book series growing up, or little girls even pick up a doll?

I am so glad God blessed me with two boys.. I don’t think I would have been able to deal with all the tween makeup and glitz that parents let their girls wear.

I know one little girl who wants to dress sexy! She is only in the first grade. Why is that I asked myself over and over. Is it the media, and characters such as, “Hannah Montana”, or is their parents giving in to their daughters every whim.

Childhood is too short let them be little girls just for a while longer.

“If we don’t believe in freedom of expression for people we despise, we don’t believe in it at all.”

If you want to stand up and show you disaprove of one particular students choice of political clothing, which represents hate, murder, and racisim here is your chance.

One of my readers came up with a great way to do so without breaking any laws.

All you need is a white t-shirt, a stencil of a swatiskia, black and red spray paint(make sure you put a piece of cardboard under the t-shirt before you spray.. Or just use plain old magic marker.

Here is a link to different anti-hitler signs:

http://images.google.com/images?gbv=2&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial&q=anti+nazi+symbol&btnG=Search+Images

Whoever said camping is relaxing clearly did not bring along a 2 year-old. We had an absolute blast this past weekend - took the boys camping with some friends (yes, in a tent). Dad took baby home each night as we live only 35 minutes away from the campgrounds and I don’t think the other campers would’ve taken to hearing the wild shrieks of my 10-month old at 3am. There was plenty for the kids to do - fishing, swimming and even a petting zoo. I think I was more afraid of sleeping in the tent than my son was - he even pointed out to me a shadow on the tent that looked like a face!

Mostly I just got to enjoy spending some time alone with my oldest son which was fantastic. He amazes me every day just seeing his little personality come to life. I am also amazed at how much I can love someone! The high point of the weekend was when the other kids were getting into their tents to go to sleep and my son ran up to one and dove head first into their tent. I am looking forward to taking them both on a 4-day camping trip to the beach in August with my best friend and her kids although I am not sure how long the baby will tolerate it.

I must have taken a crazy pill this week as we are off to camp in the wild hills of San Diego (not too wild, I’m sure). My husband and I really love to camp but have not been in the last 3 years with me being pregnant most of the time. Now that the boys are 2 1/2 and 10 months we decided the wait was over. Little one is walking now so it should be a real adventure. Can’t wait to tell you all how it goes!

I have to admit that I watched a lot of television growing up. I also read books and played outside a lot too, but I definitely remember watching a lot of tv. To my knowledge I do not have brain damage or a lack of intelligence or a twisted sense of reality. Nor am I lazy. As much as I try to be logical and reasonable about the whole kids vs. tv debate I still end up feeling guilty. There are plenty of shows on tv for pre-schoolers that have a lot of good lessons - my son learned his first Spanish words watching Dora the Explorer. But still the guilt hangs there. I am so tired of the information overload when it comes to how to raise your children. I can’t imagine how anyone before our generation ever raised healthy, happy children without all of these books and articles (sarcasm).
What really irritates me though is that even though I hate that some stranger is telling me how to raise my kids, I still feel this pressure to conform. I feel pressured to always make sure they only get 2 hours of tv or movies per day. I know in my logical moments that I strive (and usually fail) to be family focused on the whole rather than just on the children. I strive to be the level-headed one, not prone to be swayed by the latest trends in parenting. And yet the guilt is still there. Perhaps we should start being honest with each other and showing that we all make mistakes and we all do things our own way. I think if we could all do that and still feel confident that people wouldn’t be so quick to judge we could all be a little more at ease being new parents.

In Southern California we typically get a good month’s worth of what we call “June Gloom” where the weather is still cool and the clouds roll in each night and don’t burn off until the afternoon. This year is a different story altogether. Not only did we not have any clouds or cool weather, the temperature has been at or near a hundred degrees for the last 3 weeks. Since we live a good 40 miles from the beach it’s not always easy to get down there on the weekends let alone fighting the crowds for a parking spot.

Consequently we can’t really spend very much time outside as the heat is really unbearable and not a great thing for the little ones. We set up the fun sprinklers and water toys in the backyard but after twenty minutes or so they start to look like they have been wandering in the Sahara for days. I am starting to get an idea of what people go through in the Northeast in the Winter when it’s too cold to go outside. Needless to say, I can’t wait for Fall!

For those of you not from Southern California (which from the look of things on the freeway is not very many) I have to start this by letting you in a little-known fact: Californians are not very friendly. I’m sure that’s not a big surprise to most people considering we are known for being self-absorbed, SUV-loving, liberal-leaning weirdos but it was a surprise to me when I moved away from the state. I have lived in the South, the Midwest, the Rockies and the Northwest (not to mention a couple of foreign countries) and I have yet to come across a group of people who, as a rule, prefer not to be friendly with anyone they don’t know. When I moved to the midwest people went out of their way to welcome me, make me feel at home, and even offer to show me around and introduce me to other people. From my experience that would probably not happen anywhere around L.A. or Orange County.
My family and I bought a house in the somewhat far-out suburbs in late 2005 so that we could afford as large a house as possible. We had thought that since we were moving into a brand-new neighborhood we would have so much in common with everyone else and we would all have barbeques and block parties and we’d be best friends. Here we are a year and a half later and we still barely know anyone on our street. We wave to the neighbors across the street and occaisionally go over so our 2 year-old can play with their 2 year-old but that’s about it. I run into many of the neighborhood Moms up at the park and have tried to be friendly with them but they always seem so stand-offish I am afraid they think I’m some kind of psycho for trying to get to know them.
My hope in posting this is that some of you might have some suggestions or stories to share that might help us overcome this awkward existence of living 10 feet apart from 50 other families and not really knowing any of them. I have noticed that many of them I have talked to are pretty conservative which is definitely not a word I would choose to describe my husband or myself so I am not sure if they picked up on this vibe or what. And since I can’t see myself bringing them some baked goods or sharing quick recipe ideas I am at a loss. Or maybe it’s just the Dobermans and the “Stay Away - Owner Packs Heat” sign on my front lawn. At any rate, please….we need to socialize!