Mom’s Soap Box

As my mind was flooded with worry about how on earth was I going to pay for my sons college education ; I decided to water my garden before the temperature peaked.

When I unrolled the hose , I looked up to the sky, and saw a glorious site that I have to share.

All my worries about finding the funds went away. If there is a way to find money I will find it.
So today I am going to give you a list of finanical aid sites to discover and discuss with your senior.

One thing you may want to do is discuss your son/daughters SAT scores with their guidance counselor. There is still time to re-take them . I found a resourceful link that discusses financial aid and scholarships in depth.

Make sure you apply early for scholarships, and fill out FAFSA even if you think you earn too much.

A quick list to follow: Start with  Uncle Sam, Apply Early, Apply for everything. Your senior should make his guidance counselor his next best friend. He should be going to him frequently for applications.

Check out FinancialAidForCollege.com

 There is  a lot of information to overload your brain, so don’t try and do too much in a short amount of time. Read a little each day, but the sooner you apply the better your chances are to get the aid you need.

I was cleaning my living room this past weekend, and I came across a little framed poem my son made in preschool.  It made me stop and think for a moment; not long ago I was walking him up to meet his first teacher. Those years flew by like a leave in the wind right passed my hand unable for me to take hold, it was gone. So are those precious years we sometime take for granted.

I would like to share the poem with my readers so you may hold on a little longer to your precious young one. 

Sometimes you get discouraged because I am so small and leave my finger prints on furniture and walls.

But every day I’m growing— I’ll be grown up some day and all those tiny handprints will surely fade away.

So here’s a final hand print just so you can recall exactly how my fingers looked when I was very small.

Last week I said I would start seriously discussing College for my son. I found an excellent web site that will give parents and students a guideline to follow.  The first thing seniors need to do , narrow down their list of colleges, gather their SAT scores. If the score is a close score 1000-1200 your student may want to re-take them. The higher the score means more money in grants and scholarships. It may also determine whether your student gets into the school of their dreams. One other important thing your student will need to do is get those letters of recommendations as soon as possible.

There is a great month by month planner for you, and your student to discuss , here you find everything you need to  get the ball rolling – The college resource guide.

The boys did it! They survived  their first week of school. Now for a nice relaxing long weekend . I hate to say goodbye to summer.  But I look forward to cooler weather and fall clothes.

We plan to have one last picnic Sunday and a Bon-Fire tonight.

This week was full of  anixety. I still have nightmares of getting lost in school myself, and not being able to find my classes, or worse yet, missing the bus. Luckily I pick my kids up at school , so there will be no missed buses .

Now, my senior has to concentrate on his future. He just realized yesterday he better start thinking about his college appiclations, and what he hopes to do with his life. Eighteen is so young to try and figure that out. I’m still trying and I’m 44.

 The next couple of weeks will be evening filled with college inquiries, and discussions on how we will pay for his college.

Next week topics will include: career planning, financial aid, and college life. Have a Happy Labor Day!

Today’s headlines in Pittsburgh today ring in my ears.   An 18 year old charged in the slaying of his half brother. What would possess a young man to do the unthinkable?  Troy Hill of Penn Hills , stabbed his two twin brothers killing the one and seriouly injuring the other. He covered his half siblings with a blanket and left them to die.

While his one brother was taken to the hospital he told police that his mommy put something in

Recently on the Today Show there was a segment on kids and cell phones . I admit my two teenagers have them. and frankly I can’t stand it!

It’s bad enough that adults have them glued to their ears ,but to see young children everywhere you go holding them in their hands like a blankie makes me realize technology is taking hold of our youth in a way we never saw as children..

I draw the line with  kids under fifteen; it”s ridiculous, and not to mention expensive.

For safety reasons OK, but for just nonsense chatting throw it away.

I don’t have a problem if they are used for after school activities, to call home if care-takers are late picking them up .. I think children should have them if they are shopping at the mall (kids under 14 should not be doing this alone either, it’s not safe with a phone or without)with friends for a quick access to 911 .

I would let my  young children have one,  if they are out in the neighborhood while riding their bikes; I think it’s a smart move.

These t-weens having cell phones just to talk ,  and text message their friends turn my stomach, or should I say their parents make me sick! What’s next, every child on their sixteenth birthday should have a new car handed to them.

I don’t mind teenagers having them, especially if they earn the money themselves , and pay the bill; however, I hate to see them while their driving it’s like them having a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

I do believe our high school kids definitely should carry them to school especially after Columbine, I would not have it any other way. I think most high schools allow cell phones,  they just can’t have them on .  New York City schools are banning them altogether. I don’t think that’s a good move with New York being a terrorist target!

 I encourage any comments on this topic. I’m always open for a good debate!

Cells phones are a  great idea if they are used responsibly, and  kept out of the hands of t-weens , unless you are Rockefeller and can afford the overages.

Yesterday I posted a U-tube video of a clip from the block-buster movie Superbad. Just goes to show the mentality of who is buying the tickets at the box office. My sons loved this crude comedy about two horny teenagers.

I was one of those with the great mentality. A few weeks ago I was sitting in the back of the cinema with my kids, and my sons girlfriend covering my face hoping know one saw me .

For the first time in my life I wanted to hide my head and crawl out of the theatre. I am far from a prude, but I was embarressed! I kept hitting my son on the leg as I would say, ” I can’t believe you would take your mom to see this movie!”

 They laughed their asses off at my expense.

 It remindes of the time my mom took me and my brothers and sisters to see Animal House when we were kids. I remember how embarrassed my mom felt, next to Superbad Animal House was G rated!

Today was the first day of school for my two teenage sons. This will be my eldest’s last year of high school, and my youngest SONS FIRST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL! This is a milestone for our family; the beginning, and the end of my sweet boys childhood years.

I remember the first day of school twelve years ago when I put my oldest on the bus for the first time. The tears streamed down my face the entire day. From the moment I put him on the bus until he stepped of the bus at 3:45 p.m.

I don’t think I’ll ever get over the anxiety, and panic OF THAT DAY, AND every time he leaves the house. I think most mothers face this dilemma everyday. It’s out of our hands and what ever will happen is out of our control.

I want to hold onto my sons and protect them from all the evil forces out there. There is so much out there today. But we can’t we have to let them go, and experience life; if not they won’t be self suffient.

I watched them both leave for the bus today. I could not help getting choked up watching them together, something I have not seen since elementary school. They look so handsome and grown-up.

I hope and pray they have a good day and a great year. They face so much when they enter those cold walls of high school—drugs, peer pressure and the opposite sex, and the pressure of academic success.

Hopefully all the parents and grandparents will be able to have a good day as well. For all the parents who put there kindergardeners on the bus for the first time, and for parents who are watching their seniors go off to school for the last year and this goes for freshman college students!

Have a wonderful first day of school!

My best friend recently told me about one of our mutual friends who had started playing on the Orange County Roller Derby team. I was so intrigued - all I could think of was girls kicking the crap out of each other - that I had to check it out. It turns out I was pretty much right about the physical part but I think I must be going through an early mid-life crisis because something about this so appeals to me that I am seriously considering showing up for one of their skating practices to see if I can give it a shot.

Before you laugh I have to say that I am usually drawn to weird stuff and I usually become much more intertested if it’s something that I think most girls wouldn’t do. So….I am going to bust out my old-school Sketchers rollerskates and do laps around my neighborhood. I’m sure I’ll get some interesting looks, especially if I complete the ensemble with some striped tube socks and an old mechanic’s shirt. Or maybe I’ll just prove that there’s some fight left in me yet. I’ll keep you posted.

Whoever said camping is relaxing clearly did not bring along a 2 year-old. We had an absolute blast this past weekend - took the boys camping with some friends (yes, in a tent). Dad took baby home each night as we live only 35 minutes away from the campgrounds and I don’t think the other campers would’ve taken to hearing the wild shrieks of my 10-month old at 3am. There was plenty for the kids to do - fishing, swimming and even a petting zoo. I think I was more afraid of sleeping in the tent than my son was - he even pointed out to me a shadow on the tent that looked like a face!

Mostly I just got to enjoy spending some time alone with my oldest son which was fantastic. He amazes me every day just seeing his little personality come to life. I am also amazed at how much I can love someone! The high point of the weekend was when the other kids were getting into their tents to go to sleep and my son ran up to one and dove head first into their tent. I am looking forward to taking them both on a 4-day camping trip to the beach in August with my best friend and her kids although I am not sure how long the baby will tolerate it.

I must have taken a crazy pill this week as we are off to camp in the wild hills of San Diego (not too wild, I’m sure). My husband and I really love to camp but have not been in the last 3 years with me being pregnant most of the time. Now that the boys are 2 1/2 and 10 months we decided the wait was over. Little one is walking now so it should be a real adventure. Can’t wait to tell you all how it goes!

I have to admit that I watched a lot of television growing up. I also read books and played outside a lot too, but I definitely remember watching a lot of tv. To my knowledge I do not have brain damage or a lack of intelligence or a twisted sense of reality. Nor am I lazy. As much as I try to be logical and reasonable about the whole kids vs. tv debate I still end up feeling guilty. There are plenty of shows on tv for pre-schoolers that have a lot of good lessons - my son learned his first Spanish words watching Dora the Explorer. But still the guilt hangs there. I am so tired of the information overload when it comes to how to raise your children. I can’t imagine how anyone before our generation ever raised healthy, happy children without all of these books and articles (sarcasm).
What really irritates me though is that even though I hate that some stranger is telling me how to raise my kids, I still feel this pressure to conform. I feel pressured to always make sure they only get 2 hours of tv or movies per day. I know in my logical moments that I strive (and usually fail) to be family focused on the whole rather than just on the children. I strive to be the level-headed one, not prone to be swayed by the latest trends in parenting. And yet the guilt is still there. Perhaps we should start being honest with each other and showing that we all make mistakes and we all do things our own way. I think if we could all do that and still feel confident that people wouldn’t be so quick to judge we could all be a little more at ease being new parents.

In Southern California we typically get a good month’s worth of what we call “June Gloom” where the weather is still cool and the clouds roll in each night and don’t burn off until the afternoon. This year is a different story altogether. Not only did we not have any clouds or cool weather, the temperature has been at or near a hundred degrees for the last 3 weeks. Since we live a good 40 miles from the beach it’s not always easy to get down there on the weekends let alone fighting the crowds for a parking spot.

Consequently we can’t really spend very much time outside as the heat is really unbearable and not a great thing for the little ones. We set up the fun sprinklers and water toys in the backyard but after twenty minutes or so they start to look like they have been wandering in the Sahara for days. I am starting to get an idea of what people go through in the Northeast in the Winter when it’s too cold to go outside. Needless to say, I can’t wait for Fall!

The recent onslaught of terrible, tragic murders of pregnant women has me horrified. I don’t think that any of it can be explained except to say that you cannot explain the mind of a person who is clearly out of their mind. What absolutley maddens me even more is that in many states the fetus isn’t considered a life and therefore the murderer can’t be charged with double-murder (which in some states also means that they aren’t eligible for the death penalty).

I encourage you to read up on your state’s specific laws and find out how you can help to change them. These families have already lost so much, it seems right to make sure justice is served.

This morning I really need one of these songs!!

1. Baba O-Reily - The Who

2. Beautiful Day - U2

3. American Idiot - Green Day

4. Jump Off - Lil Kim

5. Ain’t Goin Down til the Sun Comes Up - Garth Brooks

I told you I had psychotic taste in music…..PLEASE, post your top five too and maybe I’ll find some new ones!

For those of you not from Southern California (which from the look of things on the freeway is not very many) I have to start this by letting you in a little-known fact: Californians are not very friendly. I’m sure that’s not a big surprise to most people considering we are known for being self-absorbed, SUV-loving, liberal-leaning weirdos but it was a surprise to me when I moved away from the state. I have lived in the South, the Midwest, the Rockies and the Northwest (not to mention a couple of foreign countries) and I have yet to come across a group of people who, as a rule, prefer not to be friendly with anyone they don’t know. When I moved to the midwest people went out of their way to welcome me, make me feel at home, and even offer to show me around and introduce me to other people. From my experience that would probably not happen anywhere around L.A. or Orange County.
My family and I bought a house in the somewhat far-out suburbs in late 2005 so that we could afford as large a house as possible. We had thought that since we were moving into a brand-new neighborhood we would have so much in common with everyone else and we would all have barbeques and block parties and we’d be best friends. Here we are a year and a half later and we still barely know anyone on our street. We wave to the neighbors across the street and occaisionally go over so our 2 year-old can play with their 2 year-old but that’s about it. I run into many of the neighborhood Moms up at the park and have tried to be friendly with them but they always seem so stand-offish I am afraid they think I’m some kind of psycho for trying to get to know them.
My hope in posting this is that some of you might have some suggestions or stories to share that might help us overcome this awkward existence of living 10 feet apart from 50 other families and not really knowing any of them. I have noticed that many of them I have talked to are pretty conservative which is definitely not a word I would choose to describe my husband or myself so I am not sure if they picked up on this vibe or what. And since I can’t see myself bringing them some baked goods or sharing quick recipe ideas I am at a loss. Or maybe it’s just the Dobermans and the “Stay Away - Owner Packs Heat” sign on my front lawn. At any rate, please….we need to socialize!